This first week of October is Mental Health Awareness Week. I want to share a little about my perinatal journey to shine some light on this often stigmatized experience. During my third and final pregnancy I had a lot of anxiety. In the moment, I knew something didn't feel right, but I couldn't name it. Preparing for my baby became an anchor which turned into a compulsive behavior. Preparing became something I could accomplish. Something I could control. I could check the boxes off my to do list and feel tangible results. There always seemed to be more preparations to do, until I had done them all.

It was then that I realized I had been using my to do list as a distraction for my underlying unnamed unrest. I realized that so much felt out of my control that I had latched onto what I could control. Inevitably, I had to face my discomfort and learn to relate to it. By naming my discomfort --ANXIETY-- I was able to create a path forward in partnership with the feelings.

Thankfully, I had a supportive therapist, OB, and family to hold space for my experiences. My yoga practice became a way for me to slow down and be with the moment. It became a way to invite rhythm and routine. It became a way for me to connect with my breath and flow with it. Letting my breath become the lead dancer has been a way I practice surrendering into the Divine Play of it all.

This experience made me wonder, is it possible to be in emotional turmoil and simultaneously explore play?

Can play actually be medicinal?

Can play be an act of resistance in this Western culture of more, better, faster, stronger?

Could play be one of my Superpowers?

Turning toward difficult emotions isn't easy. That is where the practice of svadhyaya, self study, in yoga has been vital to my explorations. What resources you in the moment? What fills your cup and lifts you up? Name these supportive variables, invite them in, and open to receive. Then from this place of spacious self-compassion, I invite you to engage in your own contemplative explorations.

Mental health is a practice and there are many avenues to health, wholeness, and well being. Please know that every human struggles from time to time. Sometimes we can move forward on our own and sometimes we need help. Mental Health Awareness is a lifelong process, not simply a week of attention. My struggles with anxiety are still very much present and I continue to resource myself with daily practices and support from others. May you have the clarity and discernment to embrace your journey and ask for the support you need.

We are in this together. I'm here for you.

With Love,

Angela